Its almost 12 oclock... but despite this lingering fatigue ive been feeling and my unsuccessful attempts to "sleep early", im on xanga blogging. Its been a whopping 4 months. whooooo have i been lazy. or busy. basically, a combination of both. but tonight i suddenly had the urge to write again. although its nonsense, a little venting here and there always makes it better.

i have 9 more days of school left as a junior. practically only 4 more days till im a senior. part of me is ready to get the heck out and move on to finally start life.  but of course theres that part of me that completely loves the feeling of relief after taking a bajillion tests in one day, that when you think about it werent even that bad.  or the feeling of having a gigantic load taken off after pulling countless all-nighters to finish last minute projects and irrelevant pieces of homework that you realized you spent too much time on.  or maybe just the feeling of being able to be in a gym-full of kids screaming at the top of your lungs jsut to prove whos the loudest. hah k, i think im jsut getting a little too into it ;]

yea... high school went by oh too quickly. esp this year alone. i had a freakin BLAST i tell you. last one, lets make this top it all, shall we? heck yes, CLASS OF o6 BABY ;]

SO. i feel the summer fever coming in. who feels me? despite the fact that im freakin broke with absolutely no money in my wallet... except my useless attempts to save lunch money given from my madre (cant ever save that. i just get too hungry all the time ;P) hahhahah hoepfully this summers good. i only have a month. then back to school. its all good in the hood yo. why? cause ill be a senior ;P mmuahahaha. k i know all you older heads are like shut up. but who cares. just let me soak in my pride. HA

mmm anything else i would like to add before i end the longest entry ive had since like... 2003? haha -> EASTLAKE high's semester DANCE SHOW. this thurs, fri, and sat (june 9, 10 & 11) @ the Ruth Chapman Theater, EHS. show starts at 630pm, $5 for a ticket. dont miss out. and dont say you werent invited. HA!

k i think the fact that i havent written in here in so long is getting to my head and im getting addicted to sharing nonsense. hey, like i said, its for me. a little venting always helps. i just felt a feenin for some writing action. HA "Goodnight Kids" have a good one...

till the next one..

<3PauLa

ALL taken exactly from KRYSTAL. thanks love ;]

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

- Veronica A. Shoffstall

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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4)

UPDATE.

havent been on this in forever!!! ive abandoned my xanga. sorry to the readers..but then again, i dont have any! but whatever. time to vent.

nothing extraordinary to vent about, just felt like i needed to update. so, HAPPY NEW YEAR. ha i know its kinda late, but still..

SCHOOL? so despite the fact that i procrastinated to the fullest and felt as if i didnt do crap sometimes, grades were super great last semester, (pls keep that up, please?!) mmm AIRBAND season has officially started..HA DISTRICT COMPETITION- montgomery high, FEB. 22. be there kids. if not there, CHAMPIONSHIPS,- usd MAR. 26. so come and support! please? ;]

CHURCH? binhi is back to monthly meetings, so, more stress? its okay, all the more FUN in the end. its all worth it yo <3

mmm not much else to say at the moment. ill TRY to update. i will. HA! LATERloves ;]

<YOU3

Happy Birthday to me...17? mmm...one year gone...again. whoo! time is going by super fast! its crazy. as for my day?

THANK YOU to everyone for the phone calls, text messages, ims, comments, etc. you guys rock my socks off. hhaha no really, iloveyou guys and gals. thanks for making my day all the more brighter.

my weekend?
BINHI BMP was a freakin success! how fun. so many people. great job guys. too bad i had too leave before the games. but its okay. good job ;]

then off to meet lauren, robbie and sonny. random bowling urge? hahah van ride. 32d. hookups. free bowling ;] fun times.

sat: meeting Anaheim. late start. rainy car ride. great lunch break. banana nut muffins anyone? HAHA fun kadiwas yo ;] then home. off to choir practice. off to BOWLING once again.

tonight was eastlakes starbucks once again. french fries. coooooollldness. fire. boots. black maffia. hahah. fart stories? mmm haahha starbucks. burning my tounge. getting in trouble. GOODTIMES. once again, i say iloveyoukids. thanks <3

mmkay im done. LATERloves  <3

HelloLoves. whoo! havent been here in a while. too much ive set aside to explain, that in the end became an accumilation i just didnt want to even bother with. haah but ill try. its been a month. so what been going on?

- schools been getting crazier and more stressful. only 3 weeks left! im freakin READY for vacation
- pep assembly performance with MEMBERS ONLY 2 was fantabulous. HAh cardio workouts anyone? mmm getting more stressful as the dance show gets closer
- speaking of DANCE SHOW, its in 2 weeks! ahhhhhh what sucks is that i cant perform on saturday cause i got practice. mmm and its just so great how MS CULTURE isnt continuing next semester, and how shes gonna perform one last time for us on SAT night. ahhh. its okay. things happen for a reason. dont wanna get into that
- Bonita/Eastlake collaboration thing is starting. what the hell is our name. HA but yea. fuuuunnn times. im freakin excited. CAN WAIT! ;]

too much dance. im burned. next semesters gonna kill me. anyyyywaayyy...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING kids <3 hope everyone had a wonderful day and ate lots of FOOD! mmm ;]  ate lunch here then ate dinner at the PADRES house. going there made me miss my dad like crazy. dont know why it just hit me but yea, its been a while. this wholes situations hard to balance =T

mmm NEW PHOTOBUCKET kids. still have the old one, just ran outta room. so, yea..

im struggling not to get sick. but my throats hurting. ahhh!!
psst! guess what? its almost my birthday =) HA. dont wanna post it up and stuff but since SOME people got mad last year for not saying anything. ahhahah there ya go...

hmm. this month was great. BIG freakin LEARNING experience, right jervinia? mmm.. thanks GOD ;] other than the occasional highs and lows for reasons in which i wont explain, lifes been good. friends are so GREAT. how many times am i gonna say that iLOVEyoukids? HAhh GOODTIMES.

So, all in all. im okay. ill hit this up again later. its getting so long im boring myself. but yea, ill go now considering the fact that im gonna wake up in a few hours. nap anyone? haha after-thanksgiving SHOPPING. yea baybee! lets hope i wake up early enough as planned. hahha

Goodnightloves<3

PS. hey kid. i know this may no longer have any effect on you, considering the present situation in which whatever whatevers been going on wherever. but i miss you. . i know you may not read this, and if you do you may not think this is directed to you. i know youre doing your own thing now, figuring out what needs to be done. but, ultimately, i just hope youre okay. just hope that youre happy. and not in a sarcastically bitter way. i really do hope youre okay. so, since this computer technology is the only form of communication i have with you, without implying that i need a reply back, i just wanted to say hi. and that imissyou. take care kid, yea? see you in a few days yo...

"Expect the worst, hope for the best..."  =)